Lonnie R. West

In 1994, I was on the BBS alot. (For you young 'uns, this was before the internet was available everywhere. If you wanted to send messages, you logged onto a BBS) I hooked up with a group of aspiring writers that were kind of ~bent~ in their humor. This was something I threw together, and ended up circulating the BBS circuit for a few years.

It's the new Krapco Computer Buddy. The Krapco Computer Buddy is a revolutionary air filter/purification HI-POWERED VACUUM system that installs in just minutes in any empty drive space in your computer. As soon as you turn your computer on, the Krapco Computer Buddy goes to work monitoring the air inside your computer and removing any foreign debris like: Dust, Lint, Cigarette Smoke, Cat Hair, Dog Hair, Your Hair, Toupee Hair, even your Aunt Grizelda's Christmas-time special Blue Wig Hair.

Plus this unit also monitors the surrounding area for any possible dangers and removes them as well. Things like: Dust Mites, Ants, Fleas, Ticks, Cockroaches, Palmetto Bugs, Gerbils, Mice, Rats, Cats, Dogs, plus many other household pest up to, but not including, large barnyard animals, all safely sucked away to prevent harm to your sensitive computer equipment.

Also, the Krapco Computer Buddy monitors your computer and cleans up any unused files. All those extra chips on the motherboard? Who needs them. What about that external cache? How much do you actually use it anyway? Look at all those add-on cards, which ones are really useful? The Krapco Computer Buddy knows, if it is not bolted down SECURELY, then it is sucked away forever.

As an added bonus, the Specially Designed Unshielded High-Flux AC Magnetic Field Motor in the Krapco Computer Buddy acts as a hard drive data manager. All those files on your hard disk that you do not use constantly, say every 5 minutes, all erased! Think of all the free disk space that you will now have! The Specially Designed Unshielded High-Flux AC Magnetic Field Motor in the Krapco Computer Buddy also nullifies any and all local magnetic fields, so you will never have to worry about finding an empty floppy disk again. Plus, it even neutralizes the Write heads so you can't even write to a disk, even if you really wanted to.

With a friend like the Krapco Computer Buddy, what else do you need?

How much would you expect to pay for the Krapco Computer Buddy? $500, $600? No! Krapco is offering this item at a special introductory price of only $29.99. That's right, $29.99. Plus if you act now, we'll throw in this free set of Kinsu knives. They slice, dice,... well, you know what they do. You've seen the ads on TV. They cut everything except actual food that you might want to eat, and besides, you have regular knives to do that.

Call now at 1-800-BUL-KRAP and get your Krapco Computer Buddy and a set of Kinsu Knives for the unheard of, one time only, special introductory price of $29.99. Operators are standing by!